The modern church is the best deal in town. Lights, music, graphics, emotion, spiritual application, prayer, support, friends, counseling, oversight, accountability, teaching and it even has a nursery. This place has it all!
It will help your marriage, teach your kids and save your soul. It’s a place where you can laugh, cry, make a friend and grab a coffee in under an hour.
And here’s the best part: It is totally free! You never have to pay a dime. The modern church is funded solely by the generous sacrifice of someone else.
I’m not exactly sure who that someone else is, but I assume they can cover my part. The lights are on, the music is loud and the preacher’s hair is adequately gelled, so someone must be contributing enough for the both of us.
I’ve thought about giving, but my budget doesn’t allow for that right now. My money goes to those things that are really life giving like my HBO package, my credit card bill and the local cinema. I’ve taken it upon myself to keep Visa and Angelina Jolie in business, but I’m sure someone else is keeping my church in business.
Why would I set aside a portion of my income to give to Christ when I’m already giving a portion of my income to Toyota, Netflix and that timeshare I’ve never used?
Look, it’s not like I owe Jesus anything. Grace is free. Salvation is free. I’m off the hook. Sure, the preacher’s droning about money is annoying, but I’ve learned to block it out. It’s like the Salvation Army bell at Christmas . . . just keep walking and don’t make eye contact.
The preacher says it’s about stewardship and prioritizing your life. He quoted some Scripture about “where your treasure is there your heart will be also,” but I don’t really buy into all of that. I suspect he’s just doing what he loves best: fundraising.
Certainly, Jesus will understand my budgeting dilemma. He knows His place in the line item — mortgage, then groceries, then utilities, then recreation, then gym payment, then internet, then shoes and then my church.
You can’t argue with that; that’s just solid economics.
I love my church, and I hope it keeps growing. We need a new building, more staff, better equipment, more programs, and to be honest, I’d like to see more desserts at the coffee bar. It’s time we move to the next level. I’m getting tired of waiting.
I hope someone else steps up soon.